I’ve recently been invited to share my experiences with soon-to-be graduates. I guess the reasoning was that I’m still young enough to relate, and supposedly a few years wiser. Also, my career choices have proven me to be just a little crazy, which, for some reason, people find inspiring. So, here are some ideas I’d like to throw out there to help the poor souls who are about the enter some of the most challenging—and most rewarding—years of their lives.

Choose a role model based on the joy factor.

Before committing to a career path, spend time finding people who do what you’d like to be doing and seem like they are genuinely having fun doing it. That is, don’t pick your role models based on their fame or status, the awards they’ve earned, how good they are at running their mouth and seeming authoritative, or the volume of their work. First and foremost look for fun and joy. I think this is why so many people in the graphic design world love Jessica Hische—she always looks like she’s glowing with satisfaction. This is why I’m currently charmed by Dan Ariely. He’s a shining example of meaning in a sea of adversity. So choose your role models carefully, and follow the joy.

You must be super clear about what you hate.

Most people make career decisions based on what they think they like to do. Well, big surprise, if you’re like 99.99% of people, you have no idea. Maybe you’ll discover this right after college, or maybe, in the worst case, when you’re approaching 50. Here’s the problem: young people are told to follow an old pattern: 1) decide what you like to do, 2) find people who will pay you for doing it, 3) profit. I don’t think that’s a complete picture. You are very, very likely to be wrong about your preferences. Instead, I suggest investing time in figuring out what you truly hate—it should be a lot more salient and less likely to change over time. Pick your jobs based on how well they’ll protect you from doing things you hate, rather than the probability that you’ll do things you think you like.

You must respect time.

I still struggle with this. Ambitious people often put a lot of pressure on themselves to achieve things right this second. However, I’ve found that by appreciating just how much darn time you have left in life to do things, and removing that pressure to have to make decisions or do something right now, I’ve become much happier. The problem is that being aware of long-term potential and accepting that you can be happy doing something you want to do not now, but ten or 20 years from now, is incredibly difficult to do when you’re stressed and anxious. And you’ll be stressed and anxious quite frequently. You’ll need to find ways to remind yourself to chill out.

Do have side projects! (!!!!!!) And talk to people about them.

All good professional opportunities that have come my way can be traced back to side projects. To this day, I work on projects that can be traced to something I did in college (for free!). So get out there and do something. Look for gaps between what you want to see in your life and what’s actually there, and fill those gaps. It can be big or small, take an hour a month to do or be a part of your daily life, you can do it solo or as part of a team, it doesn’t matter. What matters is that you start things, create value where there wasn’t value before, and tell good stories about it. And you must remember to tell these stories, by the way—once you leave college, the best relationships in your life will come from connecting with those who share your passions, not arbitrary social habits like the local bar scene.

Be a bridge.

Is there something about you that creates contrast of labels or expectations? Are you a programmer—who is obsessed with French cuisine? Are you a New England landscaper—who loves the beauty of arid deserts? Are you a woman—who can deadlift 300 pounds? Don’t shy away from this kind of contrast, and become the bridge between unexpected fields. Embrace this and nurture it. This is extremely important for two reasons: 1) our brains crave the unexpected, so if you surprise people, they’ll be more drawn to you, and 2) you will not only expand your horizons, you’ll also be in a really good position to come up with truly original ideas and help people in ways they couldn’t have even imagined. So when life starts pulling you in different directions, don’t worry—this is exactly where you want to be, and your challenge is to find a way to the middle road.

Best of luck. Be brave and venture on.